“Many people will walk in and out of your life; but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."--
Friends are our truest treasures. How many times have they: Made us laugh when we felt like crying over a bad mistake?
Because friends accept us for who we are, we gain the confidence to dream great dreams—and to make them real. Friends liven up our days with their twisted humor, their honest answers, and their ability to bear our gloating when we beat them at golf or tennis. We can even trust them with our most embarrassing secrets! What a relief it is for us to reveal our true selves to someone!
It’s no wonder, then, that medical researchers have found that those who have friends tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer than those who do not. In fact, friendship has numerous physical and spiritual benefits.
TIPS FOR MAKING FRIENDS:
1. BE YOURSELF:
This may be the hardest part. Humans are social creatures; it's in our DNA to care about what others think of us. In the caveman days if we didn't get along or agree with others, it meant being ostracized. And being ostracized meant starvation & death. Thankfully times are different. But we are still influenced by our peers, thus the pervasiveness of peer pressure. Fight against it and be yourself. Only then will you truly find people who like you for you and not for who you pretend to be.
BE CONFIDENT
In my experience we all go up and down in how we feel about ourselves. If you're feeling bad about yourself, your chances of finding healthy friends is at risk. Take stock in yourself and make sure you feel good about yourself first. Only then can you radiate to others that you are someone worth knowing. If friendship is a two-way street, you are basically advertising: I am a good person and will add value to your life, just as you will add value to mine.
TAKE PART IN ACTIVITIES THAT INTEREST YOU
In doing so, you will find like-minded people and your comfort level will increase. And worst case, even if you don't, you are doing an activity that you enjoy. It's a win-win situation!
EXPAND YOUR COMFORT ZONE
On the other hand, move outside your safe "box." Some would say, think outside the box. I say, live outside the box, at least sometimes. Give yourself permission to do something a little crazy. Maybe it's sky-diving. Or taking a SCUBA-diving class. (That's my definition of outside the box; yours might be different.) Put your toe in the metaphoric pool and you may find others doing the same. Again, at worst, you will get your adrenaline pumping and give yourself an interesting experience.
DON'T TRY SO HARD
As I get older, I find the more & more I relax into something, the better I am at it. The more tense I am, the worse I am; I'm frustrated and in a bad mood and things don't work as well. I believe it's the same in friendships & relationships. Relax. Enjoy yourself and your surroundings WITHOUT the goal of having to achieve "meeting someone." It's great to have a goal in our lives. But human relationships aren't formed on a timeline. They evolve.
STAY IN SHAPE
No, this doesn't mean you need to be a "10" to meet people. It's more about your own self-esteem and making sure you keep yourself out of the doldrums. There are many things we can't control, but you can decide to take a jog or join a volleyball club for peace of mind and exercise.
ASK PEOPLE ABOUT THEMSELVES
Shy people often think they have nothing to say in a conversation. My advice is, Ask Questions! People love to talk about themselves and it keeps the pressure off you to be witty or do the work of keeping the conversation going. Where are you from? What do you do? Do you like where you live? What do you think about (insert current event)?
EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS
With the internet and TV, most people are up on world/national/local events. But if you're not, it never hurts to be "in the know" so that you can include yourself in those water-cooler conversations at work.
EXPLORE THE INTERNET
The internet is ripe with forums and social networking. If you can think of it, there is probably a chat room somewhere for you. There are two concerns, however. The internet is great for information and sharing; however, it also has its share of trolls and bad apples, so be careful. Even more important, in my opinion, is that it's easy to get sucked into being "social" on the internet. The point of the internet should not be your total social environment; it should be a jumping off point for you to socialize with actual human beings in the flesh & blood.
QUALITY NOT QUANTITY
Remember, friendships & relationships are not about numbers. If you only have one great friend, I think you've hit the jackpot
Friends are our truest treasures. How many times have they: Made us laugh when we felt like crying over a bad mistake?
Because friends accept us for who we are, we gain the confidence to dream great dreams—and to make them real. Friends liven up our days with their twisted humor, their honest answers, and their ability to bear our gloating when we beat them at golf or tennis. We can even trust them with our most embarrassing secrets! What a relief it is for us to reveal our true selves to someone!
It’s no wonder, then, that medical researchers have found that those who have friends tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer than those who do not. In fact, friendship has numerous physical and spiritual benefits.
TIPS FOR MAKING FRIENDS:
1. BE YOURSELF:
This may be the hardest part. Humans are social creatures; it's in our DNA to care about what others think of us. In the caveman days if we didn't get along or agree with others, it meant being ostracized. And being ostracized meant starvation & death. Thankfully times are different. But we are still influenced by our peers, thus the pervasiveness of peer pressure. Fight against it and be yourself. Only then will you truly find people who like you for you and not for who you pretend to be.
BE CONFIDENT
In my experience we all go up and down in how we feel about ourselves. If you're feeling bad about yourself, your chances of finding healthy friends is at risk. Take stock in yourself and make sure you feel good about yourself first. Only then can you radiate to others that you are someone worth knowing. If friendship is a two-way street, you are basically advertising: I am a good person and will add value to your life, just as you will add value to mine.
TAKE PART IN ACTIVITIES THAT INTEREST YOU
In doing so, you will find like-minded people and your comfort level will increase. And worst case, even if you don't, you are doing an activity that you enjoy. It's a win-win situation!
EXPAND YOUR COMFORT ZONE
On the other hand, move outside your safe "box." Some would say, think outside the box. I say, live outside the box, at least sometimes. Give yourself permission to do something a little crazy. Maybe it's sky-diving. Or taking a SCUBA-diving class. (That's my definition of outside the box; yours might be different.) Put your toe in the metaphoric pool and you may find others doing the same. Again, at worst, you will get your adrenaline pumping and give yourself an interesting experience.
DON'T TRY SO HARD
As I get older, I find the more & more I relax into something, the better I am at it. The more tense I am, the worse I am; I'm frustrated and in a bad mood and things don't work as well. I believe it's the same in friendships & relationships. Relax. Enjoy yourself and your surroundings WITHOUT the goal of having to achieve "meeting someone." It's great to have a goal in our lives. But human relationships aren't formed on a timeline. They evolve.
STAY IN SHAPE
No, this doesn't mean you need to be a "10" to meet people. It's more about your own self-esteem and making sure you keep yourself out of the doldrums. There are many things we can't control, but you can decide to take a jog or join a volleyball club for peace of mind and exercise.
ASK PEOPLE ABOUT THEMSELVES
Shy people often think they have nothing to say in a conversation. My advice is, Ask Questions! People love to talk about themselves and it keeps the pressure off you to be witty or do the work of keeping the conversation going. Where are you from? What do you do? Do you like where you live? What do you think about (insert current event)?
EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS
With the internet and TV, most people are up on world/national/local events. But if you're not, it never hurts to be "in the know" so that you can include yourself in those water-cooler conversations at work.
EXPLORE THE INTERNET
The internet is ripe with forums and social networking. If you can think of it, there is probably a chat room somewhere for you. There are two concerns, however. The internet is great for information and sharing; however, it also has its share of trolls and bad apples, so be careful. Even more important, in my opinion, is that it's easy to get sucked into being "social" on the internet. The point of the internet should not be your total social environment; it should be a jumping off point for you to socialize with actual human beings in the flesh & blood.
QUALITY NOT QUANTITY
Remember, friendships & relationships are not about numbers. If you only have one great friend, I think you've hit the jackpot
Gr8 post. I tweeted it @ http://twitter.com/womenwisdom. Check it out.
ReplyDeleteHamsamalini Chandrasekaran,
http://indianyummykitchen.blogspot.com